Surrendering Through The Holidays
This year’s holiday season looks different for many of us — smaller gatherings, cancelled plans, face masks, or even stay-at-home orders. We may be worried for our loved ones and struggling with keeping our social distance. The holidays are often challenging for so many of us without the added stress of a worldwide pandemic. So how do we cope?
What I’ve come back to over and over throughout this year, and especially now, is the theme of surrender. My own holiday plans were canceled this year, and while I had a minor meltdown about it (my inner child kicking and screaming for my parents) — I chose to embrace my emotions and fully surrender to my discomfort. Instead of fighting my reactions, I watched them, witnessing the little girl within me who so badly wanted to go home. Giving myself this freedom to cry and be messy was a cathartic release, and as my emotions moved through, I could feel the sweet relief of my surrender.
Surrender is a powerful healing tool for us in these times, and in any time. When we allow our emotions and circumstances to be as they are — accepting what we cannot change in the moment — we lessen our resistance. This is helpful because resistance actually makes things so much harder on us. When we fight against the natural flow of our lives, we are actually adding negativity to a seemingly negative situation. When we let go of resistance and instead surrender to our experience, we can begin to feel a fraction of relief.
When we find ourselves in a reactionary state — upset, stressed, uncomfortable — we usually want to change it. We resist it. This is totally normal; it’s part of our basic survival instincts to avoid pain. But can we instead try witnessing ourselves in these moments and allow our emotions to teach us something? In the example of my meltdown, by witnessing my emotional reactions, I saw how my cancelled plans had triggered a deep sense of fear within me. I realized that my subconscious mind was reacting from times in childhood when I had felt abandoned. When I recognized this, I was able to feel true compassion for myself and to give myself the love and support my inner child was craving.
When we surrender and explore our emotional state, there is so much to be learned. We can start to understand and change the habits and reactions that may be holding us back in life. We might become aware of patterns that we didn’t even know were impacting us. And, we can start to see how it's often our inner children running the show, and we can purposely love those versions of ourselves back into wholeness. This kind of work truly adds up to create more inner stability and self-love.
While your stress may look completely different or more extreme than mine, can you simply explore the concept of surrender this holiday season? Can you explore your own reactions, so that we may all understand ourselves better, and be better to each other? The more we each surrender and lean into our emotional experiences, the more peace we will create in this world.
by Marina Harmon