Five Steps to Body Acceptance
Body acceptance is not a simple or straightforward journey. For many of us, it’s a lengthy and rocky path in which we compare ourselves to others and repeatedly fall into the same negative spiral. It is a path where we often think things like “I hate my body,” “I hate my reflection in the mirror,” or “I desperately want to be and look like someone else.”
We don’t always know when these negative thoughts began because they seem to have been with us our whole lives. From a young age, we’re conditioned by society and the media to think there’s one ideal body type, and when it's not ours, we start being ashamed of our bodies, criticizing them and feeling unworthy. What’s even more frustrating is that the “ideal” body type changes over time, and so there are always people left out, made to feel like they aren’t enough. We see this in fashion and beauty trends as well, as these industries play into our fears and self-criticisms in order to sell us something new.
As women, the weight of these experiences on our mental health can be traumatic. They lead to eating disorders, body dysmorphia, harsh self-criticism, or unworthiness. No one deserves to live their life in comparison with some perfect ideal that ultimately doesn’t exist.
Despite all this, we each have the power within us to change the narrative we’ve been fed our entire lives and start living in a state of self-love and confidence more frequently.
So how can we begin to accept and love our bodies as they are? There are five steps that have been really helpful in my body acceptance journey:
Body appreciation. We may not be in love with our bodies yet, but we can start by appreciating what they do for us every day. Take a moment to consider all the things you enjoy doing. Your legs enable you to walk, your eyes enable you to read your favorite books, your ears enable you to listen to music that makes you happy, your hands enable you to write, your arms enable you to lift weights at the gym. Whatever it is you enjoy doing, say “thank you” for the part of your body that makes it physically possible and feel the gratitude deep inside you.
Affirmations. Repeat self-love and body acceptance affirmations out loud to yourself, particularly in front of a mirror, whenever those negative voices in your head start acting up. This rewires your neural pathways and replaces your old belief system with a new, much more positive one. Consistency is crucial, as is genuinely feeling into what you're saying (remember, without feeling, it's just words!).
List your qualities. Make a list of the 10 qualities you most admire about yourself and why. This may feel difficult at first, especially if you have low self-esteem, but try to dig deep and conduct a self-evaluation. The idea is to consider everything about yourself that isn’t tied to your physique. For instance, you might be very proud of how driven and tenacious you are in pursuing your goals and dreams. Perhaps you admire your sarcastic sense of humor or the fact that you are always there for your friends when they are going through a rough time. Whatever your qualities may be, your worth is not attached to what you see in the mirror.
Change what you consume. Begin to critically examine media, people, habits and situations in your life. Start asking yourself “What pictures, texts, people or unhealthy habits make me feel bad about myself and my body?”. You may not be able to change what is portrayed in the media or how other people behave, but by becoming aware of what’s toxic for you, you can start making better daily choices. And don’t be afraid to make the tough decisions: unfollowing toxic people (both on social media and real life), letting go of a habit that is no longer serving you, or removing yourself from situations that don’t feel fulfilling to you anymore.
Deep healing. Being self-conscious about your body is most often caused by past trauma and limiting beliefs. Think about when you first started feeling this way about your body image, who you were with and what really happened. For example, someone may have called you “fat” when you were in middle school and that hurt you. Perhaps you were bullied because of your terrible posture and you’ve been criticizing yourself ever since. Or perhaps you discovered that your best friends were calling you the ugliest girl in class behind your back. In fact, that happened to me and it left me with profound scars that are still healing. We all have past traumas, big and small, that keep us held back in ways we might not realize. By doing inner work, engaging in deep healing practices, we address these old stories and reprogram our belief systems. This is a profound way to become more truly confident in our own bodies. (For some Yoga Nidra and breathwork practices for deep healing, check out the Humaya app).
Although it is possible for all of us to overcome our body image issues and find unconditional love for ourselves, it can be a lengthy and complex process. When you try these methods for yourself, you may think that nothing is changing and this is perfectly normal. But you’ll see that this work adds up over time to help you feel more satisfied and accepting of who you already are. Are you ready to do the inner work to truly love yourself?
by Carolina Pinto Barbosa